Do you feel as though your family are not as happy as they could be? Maybe you just want to do your bit to support everyone, but are finding it hard to balance everything. Either way, this guide will help you to make the right changes today.
Balancing Work and Home
It is not easy for you to balance everything. That being said, how you manage it can make all the difference to your relationship. You have to make sure that you have a solid balance between your work and your home life. It’s important to work around family commitments and for you to make sure that you are not locked down to working 9-5. It may be that you talk to your boss about flexible working hours or that you work overtime to make up for attending your child’s school play. If you can try and do this, then you will feel as though you are in much more control of your life and you may even find that your family are way happier as a result. If your boss cannot understand that you have a life away from work or if they are always pushing you to work longer hours then this will work against you, and you will find it even harder to give your family the support they need. The only way to get out of this situation would be for you to find another position that allows you to work flexible hours.
Take Care of Yourself First
Parents often spend a lot of their time looking after someone else. As a result, they forget about themselves. If you do not look after yourself then you may find that you end up feeling miserable and that you also resent your responsibilities. One downside to this is that you cannot then go and give your children support. Admit to yourself that you have needs and that you have feelings too. Remember it is not selfish for you to treat yourself now and again either. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Sitting down with a good book from time to time, or going on a family walk can work wonders for your mental health. Just ten minutes a day is sometimes all you need in order to reap the benefits.
Discipline is Important
Don’t see discipline as being a punishment. Instead, think of it as a way to try and teach your children how they can better meet their needs without harming or hurting others. You may be angry at your child for doing something wrong but the best thing you can do is try and keep them calm and teach them how they could have better handled the situation, or how they can improve their behaviour for next time. If you can do this, then you can make everything much more positive and constructive.
Setting Boundaries
People often use boundaries so that they can protect children from danger or harm. That being said, it is so important that you explain why the boundaries are there and that you avoid issuing orders. If you pull them away from an open fire, then make sure that you explain to them why you are doing this. Children become reluctant to follow instructions if the parents command it, so offer an explanation as this will help them to understand and then cooperate.
Communicate
At the end of the day, communication is imperative. It’s important during the good and the bad times. Children may find it hard to put the way that they are feeling into words. Them just knowing that you are listening is sometimes enough. Talk about yourself and the problems that you feel in your daily life. If you can show them how you feel, then they are probably more likely to explain their own emotions well. A lot of parents make the mistake of hiding their emotions from their children and the issue with this is that it can limit their understanding of other people and what they feel.
Comforting
It’s so important that you are there for your family during the hard times, as well as the good. If you have a family tragedy or if you have a family issue, then try and pull together. If you are going through a divorce, then talk to your kids about this openly. If you need support with your family divorce, then be sure to check out http://bencarrascolaw.com. Of course, you also need to communicate the way that you feel with your kids so that they can then discuss their concerns. If you can do this, then you will be able to give them a lot more support during the day and this can work in everyone’s favour. Giving your kids lots of hugs will also help them to feel more secure within the family so be mindful of that if you can.
Quality Time
If possible, you need to try and organise a bit of time together as a family, once every few weeks. It may be that you plan some meals, so you all have the chance to connect. You can then talk about the important issues that are taking place. The family members in your life may protest about this because they have their own plans but it’s important to make the effort here anyway so you can make sure that they are going to be given the chance to bond. Keeping a whiteboard on the fridge with the schedule will help a lot here.
Joint DecisionsIf you have older kids, then they will probably want to push the limits as this is the best way for them to see what they can get away with. It may be that you adapt boundaries as your kids grow up. It’s also important that you assess what’s important to you and which boundaries you decide to challenge. If you don’t have as many restrictions, then your kids will know that the boundaries you have set are in fact serious and worth following.
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