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Ya'll the world we live in is a crazy place, but just because the stores and most online stores are out of toilet paper that doesn't mean all hope is lost. Yes, we all know the BIG C word make you sick, we all might have to be home for 14ish days, maybe longer, and as it all unfolds, it's kind of like a trainwreck. You want to watch, but yet you don't because well, we don't know exactly what we are in for. However, that irony isn't lost in translation for the most part because we are all anxiously awaiting the next press conference.
Do the leaders (political, health, store owners, business owners, etc.) have all the answers? Nope….not even close, they are trying to do what is best for everyone including themselves. Is the restaurant down the street closing their dining room, is your little guy/girl home from school? Will it be the end of the world, probably not, however, I've seen and survived some crazy things in my day. I can even remember taking photos and not seeing them for a week or two. I remember what it's like to not have knowledge at my fingertips, and so forth.
For heaven sakes, I'm literally older than Google, The Internet, Smartphones and the like. I even grew up with an outside outhouse and no running water in the house, complete with an old school wring washing machine and a clothesline dryer. *No I'm not Amish….but the point remains that we survived, we're poor and we always wiped our butts and had clean clothes and were always well fed. Did we love all of those meals, nope but you ate it and you were thankful you had food that day. Which I think is where my “frugalness” came from originally.
Toilet Paper Crisis 2020
But you don't want to hear all about that craziness, you want to know if I have a solution for the Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. Yes, and no. But I'm going to give it my best to help you come up with solutions to maybe not having enough toilet paper to get through 14 days. Or maybe more, I for one do not have a clue how long this madness will be going on, but I do know that we are good for a while. And no I do NOT have a huge stockpile of Toilet paper, but I have enough for 14ish days. If you don't have enough, you can always use your tissues!
But what I do have is the frugalness of my Nana, and a few ideas that you can use in place of toilet paper. And while some of them aren't as soft as toilet paper, they will wipe your butt and keep you clean in the process. Don't be an asshole and buy all the store or online merchant has, buy enough for your family for 14 days and download this list, so you have it on hand to be able to continue to wipe your butt! So without further ado, I give you Alternatives for Toilet Paper.
Things to Use Instead of Toilet Paper
Napkins–You know that stack in your glove box, this is their time to shine, literally!
Paper Towels–You can use them full-sized or wait for it….You can cut the rolls in half and literally double your paper towels into toilet paper. Want a greener option? Purchase some reusable paper towels so you can help the environment and your pocketbook too!
Kleenex-In a pinch your kleenex/nose tissue will work, but if I were a betting person, it will take a couple each time you wipe your bottom. Probably not the most cost-effective, but in a pinch, it would work!
Coffee Filters– Yes, I know you don't want to use it, however, in a worse case scenario it's at least something other than leaves. Plus a package of the round filters are less than $2 usually at your local box store. And at the Dollar Tree they are just $1. We don't even have a round coffee filter pot, but we do have some on hand for various projects.
Reusable wash clothes, pick a few older ones that you don't mind using for the bathroom. Place a trash can in the bathroom and everyone puts them in there. At the end of the day, throw them in the washing machine and then dry them the next morning. Worried about germs? I get that also, but desperate times call for desperate measures and they do have a germ disinfectant that you can use in your laundry. Drop a capful of bleach into the water, it will kill the germs, or just use laundry soap and water, it won't hurt to be inconvenienced a little bit, as it could always be worse!
Reusable cloth diapers -Again, not the most popular or cost-effective, especially if you use them once and toss them. But if you cut each one of those cloth diapers into say fourths, you would have enough “squares” to do the job quickly, efficiently, and cheaper.
Reusable cloths-This one is my favorite and we've been transitioning to more environmentally friendly choices and I love them for paper towels. However, in a pinch I wouldn't hesitate to use them on my bum, I would just keep those separate as we mentioned before.
Mismatched socks– (I know lots of people wear them this way now, but call me old fashioned, my socks have to match!) Use the lost mates for a worthy cause, then reuse them or toss them. I've known grown men wipe their butts while hunting with a sock and it used to drive me nuts. Anymore, whatever works, at least you have a clean booty!!
Cut down bigger towels– No not your good ones, the ones that have holes in them, are starting to get worn with wear, you know the one you say, you are going to pitch. Cut it up into squares and you are being greener and you will have a clean bottom to boot!
Baby Wipes– Now, I use this one on the list because it works, however, please, please, please do not run out and buy a case of them. 1 box maybe 2 I get, but those mama's out there NEED those baby wipes, so I encourage you to look for flushable wet wipes instead of baby wipes. But don't be a shelf clearer (like the Extreme Couponers used too!)
Old T-shirts– I jokingly told our daughter this about a month ago, and we both just chuckled, but in all fairness, if it's drip-dry or a t-shirt, bet your bottom dollar, I will be cutting up a t-shirt! Bonus idea, head to your local thrift store to buy old cheap t-shirts to cut up and have them ready. We already have a stack of what we call “rags” and they are fair game for almost anything. Plus we don't have to buy dusters this way, so double bonus! Don't want to go that route?
Flannel– Flannel material is nice and soft and can easily be cut into squares. Grab your coupon and head to the local craft store for a yard of flannel. Then, cut them into squares, or better yet shop your local thrift l if you can still shop as I know it's getting tougher.
Bidet– Purchase a bidet, a cloth diaper cleaning hose or a portable bidet. It's an investment and you can purchase one for less than $100 in most cases. But of course the more bells and whistles it has, the higher the price will be.
What else would you use if you are out of toilet paper?
What do I do if I'm out of Toilet Paper?
An additional item I thought of while in the Automotive section of a local store. Pick up some shop towels they are a little heavier duty than normal paper towels. And be sure you place everything in a trash container and not down the stool as you won't want to clog up your system. Another item is what is called a box of rags from Scott that often times can be found at the automotive parts store near you. Double check your discount grocery stores or your local “damaged goods” place if you have one.