The post is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.
Having a buddy with a hoarding issue can make you feel stressed out. Observing someone you care about struggling with this condition can be upsetting and stressful.
There are some crucial dos and don’ts to keep in mind if you’re looking at ways to assist a person with hoarding disorder. The way a friend interacts with someone who hoards can have negative consequences. As with any other skill, there are ways of communicating that are more likely to be helpful and productive than others.
A Guide to Identifying Hoarding Symptoms
The American Psychiatric Association defines hoarding disorder as the compulsive need to collect and hold on to objects that others might consider to be of little or no worth. When affected by hoarding disorder, a person may find it difficult to part with their belongings. The end consequence is clutter, which can have a detrimental effect on their ability to function in their daily lives.
The behavior of hoarding is different from that of collecting. A collector could have a particular interest, but a hoarder seems to store and keep things at random. Hoarding disorders affect anywhere from 2–6 percent of the population. Based on the available data, it appears to affect more mature individuals and more men than women.
Some people with anxiety disorders or OCD, especially those who have endured significant trauma, may also be prone to hoarding.
Some potential red flags for hoarding are:
- Difficulty discarding or donating items, even if they have little value
- Feeling guilt or sadness when disposing of possessions
- Confidence in one’s material well-being
- Possessions may obstruct or fill up living quarters to the point where they are no longer functional.
The symptoms of hoarding disorder are not the only problems that people with this illness face. A person with hoarding disorder may, for instance, struggle with making decisions, staying organized, or focusing on tasks at hand without becoming easily sidetracked. Hoarders often struggle with additional mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, or substance abuse.
The act of stockpiling poses problems from a logistical standpoint as well. The result may be, for instance, a living situation that is hazardous or unsanitary. In the event of an accident or other emergency, hoarding can obstruct exits and pose a serious risk to those within. Hoarder dwellings often include health code breaches and tripping hazards. Relationship issues and arguments are two more outcomes of hoarding disorder. Isolation is a common consequence of relationship problems.
How To Help
Initiating conversation with a hoarder and knowing what to say can be difficult. Conversations with those who hoard can be fraught with sensitivity and tension. You can support someone who is hoarding by doing or saying the following:
Learn the Facts About Hoarding
The causes of hoarding disorder are many and multifaceted. If you want to help a loved one who is a hoarder, learning as much as you can about the disorder is a good place to start. Hoarding disorder is sometimes dismissed as unreasonable and inexplicable because of this perception. To be a more effective source of emotional support for those around you, you should arm yourself with the knowledge to avoid falling into that trap of thinking.
Don’t Judge a Person by Their Possessions
Realize that “things” isn’t the only thing that can’t be the focus of a hoarding disorder. There is always a lot more going on, and there are root issues. It’s important to keep in mind that the things themselves aren’t the main point of attention while trying to aid a friend; rather, it’s the elements that are influencing the friend’s actions that need to be addressed.
Be An Active Listener
Hoarding disorders are associated with a person’s inability to maintain healthy connections and their subsequent isolation from the world. A fear of being judged might force people to avoid their own friends and family. Help your friend from falling deeper into solitude by being a listening ear for them. Learn more about how being a good listener is better than giving advice when you’re trying to help out a friend at https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/.
Establish Realistic Goals
Hoarding is not a spontaneous behavior. This can be a time-consuming ordeal. Also, getting better will be a lengthy procedure. Help your friend set acceptable and attainable goals for their rehabilitation, and don’t put unnecessary pressure on them to meet those goals before they’re ready.
Acknowledge the Good
Helping someone with hoarding problem can be facilitated through the practice of celebrating successes, no matter how minor. Recognizing even the smallest positive actions can motivate people to take larger, more lasting steps.
Offer To Help
Helping someone with hoarding disorder does not have to involve enabling them. Assuming they’ll let you in, you may assist them clean and organize their home. Do not do it for them. Take part in the activity beside them. It is also possible to lend a helping hand by joining a support group or meeting with the people in need, or by doing research on therapists on their behalf.
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