Parents want their children and relatives to lead functional, happy lives. But sometimes, things don’t work out that way. Family members can lose their grounding and do things you never imagined possible.
How you respond as a parent is critical. You want to be the responsible force in the family, but it can be challenging when people go off the rails.
In this post, we take a look at some of the ways you can help a wayward family member and put them back on the right track.
Understand Them
It’s easy to judge people, but it is far harder to understand them. Understanding takes time and patience, something that can be hard to achieve unless you listen and pay careful attention.
Once you understand what’s going on in their minds, you’re in a much better position to help.
Say, for instance, your child keeps going out with friends until late at night drinking. Why are they doing it? Is it because they want to fit in? Do they have a dependency? Are they trying to get away from something?
Try probing the issue to figure out what’s wrong. Eventually, you’ll come across the answer.
Understand That It’s Nothing Against You Personally
Usually, the problem isn’t you personally, but sometimes it can feel that way if all their anger is being directed against you.
Accept that your wayward relative might want to spend time doing things that you don’t like. But know that it doesn’t really mean their feelings towards you have changed.
Use The Tools Available To You
Helping a wayward family member also requires using the tools available to you. Play to your strengths.
For instance, if you’re a good communicator and can really get through to people, use that. If you have the ability to help the family member in some other way, rely on that, too.
If there is anything you can do to put them in a better position for the future, such as criminal record expungement, then that’s also a good idea. This way, they will feel more confident about moving forwards with their life.
Be More Proactive
While family members will occasionally rebel, that doesn’t mean that you should let everything they do slide. Try to hold them accountable for their actions.
Usually, this will result in anger because the affected person doesn’t have carte blanche to do what they like. But it can also make room for them to have second thoughts about the direction their life is going.
Be Honest In Your Communication
When you’re dealing with a wayward family member, being dishonest generally isn’t a good policy. That’s because it leads to misunderstandings and misconceptions down the road. Try being as honest as possible about how you feel and the damage that the family member is doing.
Show Respect
Lastly, make sure that you show respect to the person you’re talking to. If you can treat them with dignity while addressing their issues, it’s a powerful combination. And, to the surprise of many who try it, it actually works.
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