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Ways to Incorporate Children Into Your Wedding
Many couples marrying today have children, even if they were never previously married, and many are trying to find ways to incorporate those children into their wedding ceremony. When a couple with children weds, it becomes about them and the kids, after all, so the little ones (no matter their ages) should be involved somehow. If you are trying to think of a way to add something special to your ceremony for your kids to participate in the wedding, try one of these ideas.
Have the kids walk the bride down the aisle
Many brides save this for their dads, but if you don’t have that option or it is important to you, ask your kids to be your escort. No matter their ages, they can accompany you down the aisle and “give you away” as their way of saying “I want this family, too.” In your wedding program, leave a note to guests about your decisions. Recently, one bride chose to add “The bride is being escorted by her two daughters and soon-to-arrive son- the three people who know what her heartbeat sounds like from the inside and hold her heart in their hands.”
When you do a unity ceremony, you symbolize that the two people in the ceremony are becoming one, but if you have children, you are becoming a whole family. Incorporate your kids in this by asking them to perform the ceremony with you. This can be lighting a candle (best for older children) or pouring sand into a jar. You can even do a hand-fasting where you bind your hands together gently, and have the childrens’ hands in the center of the adults’ hands.
Have them in the vows
You promise to love, honor, cherish, and respect your spouse, but what about the children? You promise to be their parent, to love them always, and to remember them even when the marriage itself is hard (and it will be hard, at times), right? Well, there’s no harm in saying that. When you wed, you are making a promise to them, as well- a promise of family, love, devotion, and parenting, no matter what may come. Why not include that in your vows? You can say it directly to the children, or to your spouse. If you choose to do this in the vows, though, make sure your spouse is aware so that it can a joint commitment.
Don’t forget the traditional roles of ring bearer, flower girl, and depending on their ages candle lighters or punch/cake servers. They could also pass out the bird seed/bubbles at the end of the ceremony. No matter what you have them do they will be a part of your special day and that is what matters the most!
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