Why Having Good Friends Starts With Being A Good Friend

The post is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

Affiliate Disclaimer: We work with a variety of different affiliate companies. This means that we will receive a small compensation if you purchase from one of our affiliate links. This will not affect the price of your item(s). “As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.”

Friends can be one of the most enjoyable and rewarding aspects of life, giving us a shoulder to cry on, a pair of listening ears, and someone to go to when we need help or just want to hang out and laugh. Not only are friends a positive addition to our lives, but they’re something we innately need and are even necessary for staying in good health.

If you struggle with making good friends, you may be wondering why. In this article, we’ll go over what it means to be a good friend, and how finding these types of people to add to your life often starts with you.

How To Be A Good Friend

When you think about what it means to be a good friend, what comes to mind? The answer may vary depending on your values, beliefs, and experiences. However, there are some defining qualities that typically make for a good friend, including:

• Supportive: A good friend is there to support you when you need them, offering whatever it is that you might need. They may encourage you, listen as you vent, or help you with something difficult like a breakup or a move. Having a supportive friend in your corner can be instrumental, especially when you’re going through hard times.

• Trustworthy: When someone is a good friend, you can trust their words and intentions. You don’t have to question whether they’re giving you the full truth, and you can depend on them to keep your conversations private.

• Present: Good friends make a point to spend quality time with you and are there when you need them. They don’t avoid your texts and calls, and actively seek out time to be together to deepen the bond you share. When times get tough, they don’t distance themselves but lean into the friendship more to make sure you don’t feel alone.

• Loyal: Someone who’s a good friend has your back and sticks up for you when it’s necessary. They don’t talk about you behind your back or let others do so, and they stay by your side even when your friendship gets rocky.

• Empathetic: Empathy is one of the most important traits of a good friend. Someone who’s empathetic can put themselves in your shoes and understand where you’re coming from. They can sense what you’re feeling and typically offer support and care to try to help you feel better.

• Respectful: Good friends understand that you want to be treated well and do their best to live up to that standard. When someone is respectful, they are cognizant of your boundaries and don’t push you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. They live by the Golden Rule, treating you as they’d like you to treat them.

• Humorous: Laughter is one of the best ways for people to come together and may be the reason you become friends with someone in the first place.Good friends understand how to make you laugh and are there to offer jokes when you’re taking yourself or life too seriously. They know the time and place for humor and seek to make you feel better by using it.

• Good listener: Good listening skills can be essential to a healthy friendship, as active listening helps people offer advice, avoid misunderstandings, and resolve conflict. A good friend gives you their full attention when you’re speaking and isn’t distracted by their phone or the TV. Rather, they’re fully present with you so that they can respond appropriately.

• Kind: Kindness is often a highly underrated quality, but one that can be critical in a friendship. Good friends do their best to treat you well and apologize when they make a mistake.They extend grace and value your opinions and values, seeking to lift you up instead of tearing you down.

Many other traits make someone a good friend, but this list offers a helpful starting point. Ask yourself whether the friends in your life are living up to these standards and consider whether you are as well.

Would You Want To Be Friends With You?

An important question to ask yourself when searching for new friends is, “Would I want to be friends with myself?” If the answer is no, consider why and think about what changes you’d make. Remember that most people care about the same qualities that you do and are likely looking for friends who have those traits. Thus, it’s vital to ensure that you’re being a good friend so that you can attract that same type of energy. By being a consistently supportive person for the people you care about and looking out for their well-being, you can establish yourself as a trustworthy individual to whom others are drawn.

Finding Good Friends By Being One

In order to find good friends, it’s crucial to work on being one yourself. What you put out into the world is often what you get back, so keep this in mind whenever you’re questioning the quality of your friendships or trying to make new ones. Knowing that you’re doing the work to be a good friend can help you remember your self-worth and serve as a reminder not to accept a friendship that’s anything less than healthy, respectful, and reciprocal. We’re often much like the people we spend the most time around, so ask yourself, what type of person do you want to be, and what do you need to do to get there?